


A Ladle and some Stew - Side stories

by Thorinsmut



Series: A Ladle and some Stew [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drabble Collection, Nonbinary Dwarves, Other, assorted genderfuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-16 02:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorinsmut/pseuds/Thorinsmut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles to fill out and go with A Ladle And Some Stew. </p><p>Chapter 1: Bifur and Lari meet - not love at first sight, but...<br/>Chapter 2: Lace and Knives - Bifur's son Lifur grows up to be a bamf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bifur and Lari meet

Lari and his friends were clearing out a nest of goblins that was settling too close to the main road up the eastern side of the Blue Mountains. They hadn't meant to run a pack of them into the little traveling merchant family, but it had happened anyway. 

Merchant family was doing alright for itself, though, Lari noticed as he pounded his way through the goblins with his warhammer. The family of western Dwarves stuck close together, watching each other's backs. The smallest, the adorably pudgy one, was fighting with a kitchen cleaver and a frying pan of all things – scrawny middle one was fighting with a lot of energy and a big miner's mattock – oldest one though... he was _something._ Interesting weapon choice, boar spear, gave him good reach and had a wicked cutting edge, and he wasn't shy with it, keeping the worst of the Goblins off his family. 

He was _good_ for someone who wasn't a professional. 

Lari liked his hair – a thick black mane of the kind you could really sink your _fingers_ into.

Not really the time for that though. 

The goblins made a break for the lowlands and Lari's friends all gave chase. 

Lari paused, “Sorry about that.” He laughed, blood singing from the adrenaline, “Lari, at your service – be right back.” He said, with a wink for the handsome eldest, running after his friends and the goblins. 

 

It might not have been love at first sight, but it might have been something close to it. Bifur had been fighting hard but he still noticed when the southern Dwarf smashed his way into the battle, laughing as he swung his hammer with a fluid grace, staving in goblin heads left and right. 

He was downright beautiful, is what he was, every motion powerful and confident – a Dwarf who knew his own body and used it well. 

Bifur had never seen hair quite like _that_ before, unbound and undecorated, defying gravity in a big poof on the Dwarf's head, bouncing and following wherever he moved. 

It was a relief when the Goblins ran off again, the rest of the warriors gave chase, all but the southern Dwarf. 

He actually _apologized_ for having run the Goblins into them, which was unexpected, before introducing himself and running off after the Goblins – but not before gracing Bifur with a big smile, a good-natured flash of white-white teeth, and a wink. 

Bifur felt a flush of heat through him as he watched Lari bound gracefully away, disappearing into the trees downhill. 

It hadn't been _love_ at first sight... 

 

Lari found the merchant family camped not far from where his friends were camping. The little one was cooking over their campfire while the scrawny one with the bouncing braids played a flute and the handsome one fiddled with something small. 

They introduced themselves as Bifur, Bofur, and *look at the ground and mumble incoherently while turning red*, the handsome one, Bifur, introduced the last one as Bombur, and he was _angry._

He politely dragged Lari a little ways away from the camp, out of sight behind some trees, and began berating him for putting his cousins in danger, his face very close to Lari's as he quietly ranted. His eyes were very very blue, his pale skin flushed under his thick black hair and beard. 

Lari couldn't help wanting to see him flushed for... _other_ reasons... 

Lari apologized twice more, they really _hadn't_ intended for the Goblins to run onto the road, and tried to explain that they were getting rid of the Goblins to keep the road _safe,_ before giving up and just kissing him. 

Bifur froze against him, and Lari had a moment to accept that he was going to get punched in the face and deserve it, when Bifur surged back against him with a groan, wrapping one strong arm around Lari's back to pull him closer while his other hand was on the back of Lari's neck, holding him while he opened the kiss. 

It was slick and messy and _good_ , stifled moans and sucking lips, hard-thrusting tongues and _just_ the right amount of teeth. 

Lari had, without conscious thought, used his slight height advantage to push Bifur back against a tree, one thigh pressed between his legs, rutting against each other as they kissed. 

Lari's lust-addled brain was beginning to think that clothes were a _very_ bad idea when Bofur began to call for Bifur from their camp, and Bifur pushed him gently away. 

Lari didn't _want_ to let go, but he did. 

“I _will_ let Bombur eat your serving, and _then_ what'll you do?” Bofur was saying. Bifur and Lari took several steps back from each other, staring at each other, breathing, trying to get their wits back. 

Lari touched the back of his neck where he could still feel the warmth of Bifur's fingers. 

“I... should go...” he said, gesturing back toward his own camp. 

“Stay.” Bifur said, and the flush of desire on him was just as beautiful as Lari had imagined it would be, “I... it's simple food but Bombur's a good cook and... I _shouldn't_ have been yelling at you. It wasn't your fault.” He wasn't quite meeting Lari's eyes anymore, straightening out his clothes so what they'd been doing was less obvious. 

“I get protective. The three of us... we're all we've got left.” 

Lari nodded in sympathetic understanding and followed Bifur back to his camp. 

 

They only had three bowls, so Lari had to wait until Bifur was done eating to have some. He sat on a rock and flicked pieces of grass into the fire while he waited. It might have been awkward if it weren't for Bofur and his ability to make everything a funny joke. 

Lari's laugh was a beautiful full-bodied thing that suited the _physicality_ of him. He was bright and immediate and intense and... 

Bifur was _not_ in the habit of kissing Dwarves he'd only just met, and certainly not the way he'd been kissing him, but Lari... 

He would do it again, in a heartbeat. 

“What's this?” Lari asked, picking up the toy Bifur had been working on. He inspected it minutely before turning the crank to watch the little sparrow's wings flap, a look of undisguised wonder on his face. 

“You made this?” he said, glancing at Bifur, “How does it _work_...” 

Bifur handed his empty bowl to Bombur to be filled for Lari and began to explain to toy, taking it back, showing the gears and joints and little mechanisms. 

“ 's good.” Lari said at Bombur with his mouth full, raising his bowl as if in a toast, and then turned his attention back to Bifur. 

When Lari was done eating they took the toy apart together. Bifur had never had an audience as interested in _how_ his toys worked as Lari... It wasn't a completed toy yet, he hadn't quite gotten the wing flapping cadence he wanted. 

“You should have it go...” Lari mimed with his hand, flap flap soooooar, flap flap flap soooooar. “like a real sparrow instead of just...” flap flap flap flap flap. He grinned at Bifur. 

Bifur scratched at his beard, “I'm not sure how to...” he started, but Lari cut him off, describing a series of gears that... that might _work!_

Bifur grabbed out his tool set and some gears. They were just reassembling the bird with the new gears, hardly even aware how close they'd gotten to the fire for light as the daylight dwindled, when one of Lari's friends came stomping up through the trees. 

“Lari?” she called, “Lari, brother-of-my-heart, have the merchants kidnapped you?” 

“Here Kolga!” Lari called back, laughing. 

Big blond Kolga leaned on her axe, raising an eyebrow at Lari as he held up the toy, turning the crank to make the sparrow flap and soar beautifully. 

“I helped!” Lari said, and Bifur nodded. 

“For _this_ you missed dinner?” Kolga asked, disbelief clear. 

“Bombur fed me.” Lari said, jerking a thumb at Bombur, who shuffled his feet uncomfortably at the sudden attention, “We should kidnap _him_ , he's good.” 

Kolga laughed, shaking her head, “Come on, we've got to plan for tomorrow before it gets too late. Early morning tomorrow!” 

Lari nodded, waving Kolga away, “Go on, I'll be right there.” 

Kolga rolled her eyes and stomped off back to her camp while Lari stood, stretching, and Bifur was struck with how _much_ he wanted to feel that against his body. 

“This was fun.” Lari said, smiling at them all but Bifur particularly. “Look me up some time.” he said, describing the settlement he spent his winters in, on the northern end of the range. 

He strode gracefully out of their camp, pausing to look back once at Bifur, opening his mouth as if to say something but then he changed his mind, instead flashing that big smile one last time. 

And then he was gone in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's young and impulsive in this one. The oldest, Lari, isn't a hundred yet, and the youngest, Bombur, doesn't have his magnificent beard loop yet. Lari thinks of Bofur as scrawny because he hasn't filled out yet – a bit like Ori probably.
> 
> So, about Lari's pronouns – at this point in Lari's life Lari identifies as male, therefor he gets 'he' because that is what feels good and right to him at that time. Later when Lari identifies as female she gets 'she' because that is what feels good and right to her at that time. If Lari ever identifies as a different gender, then Lari will get whatever pronouns feel good and right to Lari at that time.
> 
> I think that, after this, Bifur and Lari have a long on-again off-again courtship, where they get along great (and enjoy each other as lovers) but aren't really serous and don't really see each other all that often.  
>  Bifur is cool with it when Lari changes pronouns, and is in all ways a kind and considerate lover.  
>  It isn't until Lari gets injured and nearly looses her leg that they start courting seriously, with Bifur helping Lari not be depressed by distracting her with toymaking, because her mind is really good at it and she enjoys it, as he found out at their first meeting. So yeah – they fell in lust fast and in love slow, but they got there.
> 
> Just for the record – I have no idea which of the two of them bore Lifur.


	2. Lace and Knives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what becomes of Lifur in Erebor.

Lifur, wearing lace and knives and his mother's big smile that revealed _nothing_.

Lifur, always dressed _perfectly_ , he was a master tailor after all, a shameless flirt with sweet promises in the fall of his lashes, the tilt of his head, the twist of his hand, the angle of his body, that he almost _never_ kept.

(oh, but that _almost_....)

Lifur, ornamental jewel of the King's court, nothing more than a pretty face.

(but such a pretty face it was, and a pretty body to go with it...)

Lifur, bright and energetic and welcome in any social circle, invited to _every_ gathering in the hopes that he would liven it up with his presence.

Lifur, moving through a room with a perfectly timed laugh here, a distraction there, a touch, a sultry look that made the lookee blush, a compliment, a suggestion that the suggestee would later think was their own idea...

Lifur, plucking the strings at just the right time, and in just the right order, and watching the King's court dance to the tune he played – fat spider in his web who's flies were not even aware they were caught.

Lifur, wearing his mother's big smile that, on him, revealed nothing – everyone saw the lace and forgot the knives.

Lifur, settling himself in the corner with Dwalin's pretty knotmaker to make everyone jealous, heads dark and gray tipped close together while they whispered and laughed.

(lord –'s getting out of hand. It has to be stopped. His thugs are killing people to keep them quiet, now.)

(don't worry, I'll take care of it.)

(are you sure, he's so popular...)

(easy, trust me.)

Within a week a once-popular noble found himself invited to fewer gatherings, found himself looked at with distrust – by the end of the month his businesses were subject to higher scrutiny and his very secret smuggling ring was discovered and broken up and everyone agreed that they'd never liked or trusted him in the first place.

Nori and Lifur shared a certain look and touch as they passed one another in court – just two pretty boys flirting with each other to keep in practice and make everyone jealous.

Lifur, comfortable in any social circle, sitting and laughing at Balin's stories as though the King's chief adviser were his own grandfather.

(I will _strangle_ this representative, laddie, see if I don't. We _need_ the trade agreement, and they know it, but their offer is just ridiculous!.. and if I turn it _down_ , the court will be in an uproar. Everyone knows we need their supplies...)

(what would they be offering if you had your own way?)

Within a week the entire court was laughing at the representative and his insulting first offer. Balin was told by a fair number of influential nobles that he was under _no circumstances_ to accept their offer until they gave him a reasonable one. A few groups of nobles were researching how to get the supplies they needed from different sources.

The representative made an offer that was surprisingly similar to exactly what Balin wanted.

Balin allowed Lifur to draw him out into the dance floor.

“You are a treasure to us all, laddie.” Balin said, and Lifur laughed as they stomped and spun – as though the Kings chief adviser were his own grandfather.

Lifur, shameless enough of a flirt to lean against the King's _(the King's)_ table and make eye contact with him while slowly eating grapes in a way that _really_ shouldn't be legal in public.

(I need to raise the tariffs on imported mead, quickly, before the fall shipments come in. The Blue Mountains are trying to put Erebor's breweries out of business... It's going to be a mess. If there's _anything_ you can do...)

(you almost sound like you don't think I could. My feelings are hurt.)

(forgive me for doubting that making drink more expensive could _ever_ be popular.)

(…try to keep in mind that you brought this upon yourself with your skepticism.)

Within three days Dwarves were marching in the streets demanding that _our own_ breweries be protected. The King was accosted from all sides by angry subjects, and had no choice but to raise the tariffs on imported mead.

“Remind me _never_ to anger you.” King Dain murmured, and Lifur, shameless flirt, kissed the King's hand and raised a toast of Erebor's Own finest mead to him.

Lifur, moving through a room with a perfectly timed laugh here to make someone's suggestion seem ridiculous, a distraction there to make someone lose an argument, a touch to draw two people's attention to each other, a sultry look that made the lookee blush and forget what they were saying, a compliment to make someone more sure that they were right, a suggestion worded so the suggestee would later think it was their own idea...

Lifur, plucking the strings at just the right time, and in just the right order, and watching the King's court dance to the tune he played – fat spider in his web who's flies were not even aware they were caught.

Lifur, jewel of the King's court, lace and knives and his mother's big smile that revealed nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Lifur _so much_ you guys.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Out of Some Instant of Mystery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/859554) by [lowbudgetcyborg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowbudgetcyborg/pseuds/lowbudgetcyborg)




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